A shrimp-eye on the chocolate

‘In the corner of the workshop, Olli Ragbin sits watching events unfold before him’

Easter’s a comin’ and it’s nearly time for the CCM annual ‘strong man’ competition.

The techs have been training hard for this all year under the cloak of complete secrecy. Each readying to out-manoeuvre the other in a display of sheer strength.

The Thursday before good Friday is traditionally when one of them will throw down the proverbial white glove signalling the start of this quiet but intense competition.

A little like the display the ‘bird of paradise’ puts on in a jungle clearing, the tech with the best show of strength gains the kudos and recognition of the rest of the group and the award of a Cadbury’s cream egg.

Siobhan is the final adjudicator and decision maker.

No words are ever exchanged, just the egg handed out, then back to business.

The two Bristols are out in style this week.

Since the arrival of these two at CCM towers, Dr Ray has been wearing a constant smile. It’s like he’s been reunited with long-lost favourite relatives.

Work on the more modern machinery also continues. The Gen 2 987 Boxter receiving some love and attention from young Chris.

Deftness with a screwdriver displayed here. Something alien to me and my ‘Suzuki-oil-change-with-a-hammer’ approach to spannering.

(A gentle reminder to all our customers.... I will never be let loose on anything in the workshop.....ever......(Eric insisted I point this out....can't think why))

Dr Ray readying this beautiful 1948 Rover for some CCM care and fettling. For most photo portrait work, the universal ‘say cheese’ normally cracks a fake smile.

Eric knows his team inside out. To get this sort of beaming response from the Doctor, you have to update your phrasing.

‘Say Bristol 411’ barks Eric at his subject.

Boom, a smile that can make a baby coo from 20 paces.

Did you know that the mantis shrimp has the best eyesight in the animal kingdom?

We humans have three types of cone cells in our retinas allowing us to see the colours red through violet.

The mantis shrimp, on the other hand, has 16 types of cones - allowing it to see far more elaborate colour ranges, and in significantly higher resolution.

In addition, the Mantis shrimp can move each eye independent of the other allowing multi-tasking with focus!

(Copyright: 'Mantis-shrimp monthly: Are you looking at me?' edition. Issued December 1997)

I say all this because at CCM we someone with Mantis-shrimp capability deployed in human form.

You’ll remember that a little bronze bush that holds the seat onto the frame of the Suzuki I was changing the oil on last week?

Remember it's mysterious disappearance?

Well, it’s turned up this week.

Justin, who can see the ants on the trees from 200 yards, spied the little missing devil in our massive workshop, underneath the Landie parked on ramp 2. How on God’s green earth did he see that?

(Note: This is a tiny item. To give a sense of scale, a gerbil could hold 17 of these in its mouth comfortably)

Eric has been properly camera-happy this week and caught this lovely group photo of

Siobhan and Shrimp-eye Justin bookending the Bristols with Dr Ray and Young Chris. What you can’t see from the photo is that Siobhan is holding the cream egg. As always, prepared and ready to recognise team strength.

The techs know the showdown can’t be far off.

The tension is palpable.

Suddenly and without warning the strong-man competition is off. This year Dr Ray was first to crack.

Apparently for the last 6 months he’s been training his neck muscles and the back of his head ready for this.

With the deftness of a ballet dancer he pirouettes onto the floor, places his head against the off-side rear tyre of the Rover and starts pushing it gently back off the ramp.

No engine propulsion needed. Just brute force accompanied by a quiet and gentle grunt (a noise reminiscent of that made by a small animal grubbing for truffles).

Shrimp-eye Justin keeps one eye firmly on his caravan, but can’t help but move his other eye toward the contest unfolding.

A subtle move by Dr Ray. He knows he’s done well. He’s still smiling.

Later in the day we have a caravan on ramp 2! Testament to the versatility of the team and the wide variety of work we love to undertake here at CCM on the Passfield Mill business park.

Drama however is afoot, and the awarding of the cream egg isn't going to go uncontested.

In full view of Dr Ray and Young Chris, Shrimp-eye Justin scoots underneath the caravan, places his head on the chassis rails and then boom, he lifts the thing 2 clear inches off the ramp.

His left eye darts toward Dr Ray, his right toward Siobhan in the office.

Dr Ray’s smile fades for the first time in days.

Siobhan slides open the draw and removes a small chocolate egg. Audacious vision or risky caravan gamble? The winner is in plain sight.

(Dr Ray tries his best to look unimpressed, the taste of winners chocolate fading from his mouth)

This is tip of the iceberg stuff though and a mere snapshot of the hard work and various labours of love applied to many customer cars by our expert tech custodians.

Another busy week draws to a close in the workshop and memories of my comedy motorcycle oil change are fading (at least I really hope they are).

From Eric, Siobhan, Dr Ray, Shrimp-eye Justin, Young Chris, and the rest of the CCM family, we’d like to wish all our lovely customers a very happy and peaceful Easter break.

Ollie