Classic car mechanic – Danger in the environment

‘In the corner of the workshop, Olli Ragbin sits watching events unfold before him’

This week in a move of duplicitous back-stabbery, I took my family car to get serviced at the Audi main dealer. Now, you’d think this would earn me my marching orders from the CCM workshop, the shameful shuffle as I was walked out of the premises and asked never to darken the door with my shadow again, however I do have a defence (your honour).

The car was bought from the main dealer and I negotiated the inclusion of 2 services in the deal. (I say negotiated, but what I really mean is that I paid list price and pre-paid for a coupla main dealer stamps).

And so with a heavy heart I wandered into the plush showroom which I was funding and was offered a cup of coffee by a smartly dressed member of the local Audi team who had precisely zero passion and care for the vehicle being looked after.

A little later that day I got a video from the technician highlighting the 2 things that they thought I should be made aware of. Firstly, the pollen filter was 2 years old and should ideally be replaced. Secondly, the rear brake pads were 70% worn on the inner face.

The pollen filter was going to be £80 to sort. I didn’t bother to enquire about the brake pads.

We’re (hopefully) concluding a global pandemic, I’ve had 2 vaccinations, a booster as well as catching the dreaded virus (Omicron variant) and being properly laid low for a couple of weeks. If I can deal with that I thought, then I think I can deal with the risk of pollen getting into the car unfiltered from the deadly atmosphere outside. If the bees can manage, then so can I.

A quick call to Eric and a price for the pads was nailed down along with a helpful ‘we can do it whilst you wait’ promise. Perfect compromise. Audi for the stamps and basics. Anything else whatsoever and the CCM techs will be laying hands on the 4-door.

A little later that day I got an email from Audi along with a video from the technician. They really were insistent about this pollen filter thing. I imagined the mechanic at home later that evening, sitting down to tea and not being able to eat. ‘What’s the matter love?’ enquired his caring wife. ‘I don’t think I can eat’ sayeth the mournful tech. ‘Customer today is out there somewhere, potentially choking on pollen…. I feel so helpless’.

An hour after the car pickup I got another email. This time a survey. Audi were keen to understand my experience so that they could be the best they could possibly be. I felt obliged to complete it. When I’d picked up the car, the lady who’d ‘checked me in’ had made it clear that the email would be on its way and that her performance would be judged on my response. I was in my own little Mexican stand-off. The Audi corp held the service lady in this particular one-horse-town and were effectively saying ‘tell us we’re great or the girl gets it’.

I told them they were great.

The very last question they asked was less of a question, it was an option to elaborate.

‘If you’d like to leave us a short video explaining why you gave us the results you did, then feel free’

‘You were amazing, now please for the love of God, just let the girl go’….. I was tempted.

Manufacturer main dealers and small independents are doing different things. The main dealers are driven by mass economy of scale and rigorous management of the supply chain. Brutally efficient in all things production. Every surface is spotless and every experience has the veneer of sanitised perfection. At CCM we deal with passion and care. There is a genuine anticipation for the week ahead and the unknown of what will roll through the door. The main dealers serve a genuine need and I get that. None of their techs are going to be excited by the latest 2 litre diesel 4 door rolling up for its inspection service. Maybe they are the Nespresso to our freshly ground filter coffee. One looks great and is measurably more efficient, the other one is real.

Young Chris has been terrorising the workshop this week with the welding gun. If it moves, it’s getting welded. If it doesn’t move, it’s getting welded anyway.

(a hole where there should be stuff. Out of shot young Chris takes a run up)

(Welded and coated. Aint no corrosion getting in here)

This week we took the Cobra to get IVA tested for road approval.

They don't muck around at the IVA. They use specialist equipment to tell them stuff about stuff. (In short, I have no idea what is going on here).

(Apparently this tool is called Nigel (insert own joke ))

(Nigel points at something sharp and pointy that he is not happy about)

We do like a blue car at CCM. Look how slim this Ford is! Small gust of wind and this thing will be over.

(Simple, stunning, understated and at the same time loud. Perfect)

(Today's generation of car-modders could learn a thing or two about subtlety and humour with this discreet Betty Boop sticker)

CCM's global reach continues. Eric took a crystal clear call from a new customer in the Democratic Republic. That's reputation for you.

(I don't think my local Audi shop field this sort of call. Maybe I should have put that in the video feedback 'Disappointed in the lack of a drop-off-and-collect-service to the Ugandan border'....)

And so we are powering through February and looking forward to the weather improving and the current restrictions ending. I'm keeping a weathered eye on news from number 10 on the pollen count and as long as that's stable, I'll forego the mask and the social distancing.

So from the gang at CCM, Eric, Siobhan, Tasha, Dr Ray, Shrimp-eye Justin, Young Chris, Izzi, Ingrid, Alfie, and Will (I aint) have a great week.

Olli

(ps... couldn't resist a final couple of shots of that Fabulous Ford)