Classic car mechanic’s weekly motoring – The sorcerer’s apprentice

‘In the corner of the workshop, Olli Ragbin sits watching events unfold before him’

As our project Jag XJ is racking up the hours I’ve been ‘lending a hand’ in order to keep the restoration costs this side of reasonable. This is a tricky affair for a number of reasons;

1. I’ve spent all my working life in an office. Duncan (our resident body work wizard) made me wear gloves this week on account of having ‘hands like Bambi’….. he’s got a point

2. I have a reasonable amount of mechanical understanding, but pretty much zero mechanical ability

3. I need supervision. For most things in life, but working on cars, most definitely

Whilst I don’t have much talent, I make up for it with enthusiasm.

The good news is I’ve had a small promotion. And with that, I was allowed to use the ‘whizzer’. I don’t know what the real name of this thing is, but it’s a power tool with some sort of crazy circular metal spikey disc on it. Very good for removing paint. ‘And stripping flesh to the bone’ warned Duncan.

‘Always use it going off the edge of a panel, never onto the edge’…. Righto… let’s have a crack at this.

With safety gear donned, I stripped the whole bonnet, very, very carefully.

As I hadn’t died, or removed any limbs, I went to finish off one last bit with the air of a man who knows what he’s doing. I went off the edge (not on). I also happened to touch the towel the bonnet was resting on.

The next 2 seconds went very, very slowly indeed.

The whizzer ate the towel and jammed, making a gentle humming noise to express its annoyance. I quickly scanned my surroundings to make sure no-one noticed. Duncan was in the workshop welding. Keith had just walked past (with his water bottle… he’s a 2 litres a day man) and the ensemble of techs were all doing what techs do… no one else appeared to be trying to wrestle a towel from a power tool, so I’m assuming it was just me.

I’d felt very pleased with myself on the paint stripping duties, but as usual, somehow managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Anyway, a clear and obvious reason why I’m allowed nowhere near customer cars and am banned from the main workshop.

I spent the next 10 minutes picking shredded towel from the jaws of death (unplugged by that point) before nipping off quietly to bury the evidence.

I’m back in tomorrow to ‘help’. I suspect that the whizzer will be out-of-bounds and I’ll be back on the sandpaper again. Needs must, as restoring cars properly takes time (and it appears, guidance and expertise)

Ah well, the only way is up.

If you're out and about in this gorgeous weather, take it steady and enjoy the sunshine. (Avoid towels, there be danger afoot).

Olli

This week's 'car of the week'. An absolutely stunning Daimler roadster (am I right in thinking it's a Dart?. Someone will tell me very quickly if I'm not)