Classic car mechanic – Zen and the art of classics

‘In the corner of the workshop, Olli Ragbin sits watching events unfold before him’

One thing leads to another. This is true in life but probably even more relevant when viewed through the lens of classic car ownership.

To say it’s a ‘labour of love’ whilst clichéd and worn-out as a saying, is a statement that probably comes closest to describing the, at times illogical attachment we bond with our cars.

Whilst I may be speaking from a personal perspective, I know this is equally true of others afflicted. We dreamily think about all the small improvements, tweaks and restorative care we want to lavish on our wheeled pride and joys. Surfaces sanded down gently by technicians in white overalls in hermetically sealed spotless white workshops. Coats of primer applied by the softest angular flat shader-brushes (natural bristles of course). Topcoat and lacquer sprayed from an artist’s boutique-esqué fine-art spray gun. After drying out in a quiet room with gentle piano music floating effortlessly in air perfumed by the scent of thinners and cherry tobacco smoke, the flat-capped tech takes a gentle seat in the corner to admire another work of art completed.

Back in the real world it’s annual tweakery time and fingers crossed they don’t find anything wrong as I can’t afford to be lashing out yet more cash on my 60-year-old running example of olde-English engineering.

This week’s 60-year-old ‘just in for a service’ example (fingers crossed) is a beautiful Morris Minor called ‘Birdie’. Just look at her! Ivory paint over simple yet lusciously curved body panels. Take a moment. Think about how cars develop. The tendency to over-design as humanity and engineering take the only natural route, forward. Modern rear lights in comparison to this are works of complex computer-designed art. But this….this… Birdie’s designer created an iconic look where long-lasting visuals triumphs over ‘technically brilliant’ execution. For an example of simplicity over complexity, look at that red pinstripe and how it contrasts and at the same time highlights the flat ivory. Brilliant, lovely, simple. All in the same breath.

(Shrimp eye Justin weaving magic on ramp 1)

It’s not just the older classics though, modern cars have the capacity to deliver timeless design that will be long-lasting, enduring. Think Audi TT. Instantly recognisable. But they are few and far between. Modern designers would likely have their granny up on eBay in a heartbeat in exchange for a modern-day icon to pop forth from their design pen.

Birdie’s service quickly lead to remedial work being identified when it became apparent that the springs were coming up through the floor. A feature that on discussion we agreed probably wasn’t part of the initial design brief.

(I’ve wept at lesser examples of corrosion)

But if you’re going to spot a problem with a patient during routine surgery, what better place to be in than a hospital. Time to break out our very own Olympic welding gold medallist, young Chris.

(A sill getting ready for a little heat from the gun)

(Young Chris’ classic equivalent of a new hip)

Open heart surgery. I wouldn’t fancy having a crack at that. Here we see an MGB prepped, sedated and cleaned up ready for receipt of a metronomically efficient heart. A quick engine bay tidy whilst waiting, naturally.

What does the Doctor do whilst he’s taking a break from surgery?

He takes delivery of his new Yamaha homologation special, the very lovely R1-SP.

When Yamaha recruited the design force for this weapon, they kept the brief simple;

‘We want angles and lots of ‘em. Make it look moody and perhaps a little bit angry. Comprendé?’

Much nodding was seen from the designers.

‘And you lot in engineering…. When the rider twists the throttle, we expect him to lose a little body weight as a result of a small, frightened ‘evacuation’…. Understood?’

More nodding.

(Here we see Dr Ray before the first ride (and the first evacuation). The latter scheduled to occur about 2 mins after the former)

It’s the first week in August and as all the workshop knows, Young Chris likes to do a human detox and not have anyone standing anywhere near him for the whole week. During this time whilst he’s realigning his internal chakras, close proximity to others makes his hair itch. So, we give him space and he quietly gets on with the therapeutic day-to-day technical work that helps keep him calm, zen and at one with the universe.

(This was as close as Eric dare get in early August. You can literally sense the well-being aura around Young Chris whilst he lovingly cleans and preps an Alpine fuel tank for spraying)

Finally, this week sees the mechanical re-fresh my much-beloved Porsche 996. Dr Ray was the surgeon on duty and has been busy changing IMS bearings, clutches and a host of other ‘little jobs’ that have been building since the last visit.

I’ve been particularly excitable by the prospect of one small upgrade though, the fitment of a new lightweight flywheel. Improved throttle response and a gentle sprinkling of better drive-ability awaits. Losing weight always costs. An odd example of why less is more.

(Just look at it…. Machined from a billet of solid steel. When I first saw this in all its precisioned and polished glory I dropped my toast)

‘It’s the most beautiful thing we’ve had in the workshop’ said Eric before Ingrid’s Paddington death-stare and forefinger jabbed forcefully to kidney forced a very quick revision to that statement.

Another summer week moves on silently by and the CCM team have left the Classics world in a better and healthier state than when they found it. Time to have a nice sit down and a browse on the interweb. I wonder if I can get a flat cap and some cherry tobacco on eBay? Might have a little look. (After the usual Auto-trader/pistonheads hour of course).

If your classic is in need of love, attention and sympathetic improvement, you know where we are.

From the CCM medical team, Eric, Siobhan, Dr Ray, Shrimp-eye Justin, Young Chris, Izzi, Ingrid, and all of this week’s patients, have a wonderful week one and all.

Olli