It's not a bill, it's an investment......

‘In the corner of the workshop, Olli Ragbin sits watching events unfold before him’

You’ll remember in last week’s episode that Eric outed Ingrid’s wee Citroën. Why was Ingrid forced to sell her pride and joy? Rosie. Rosie the recovery truck to be precise.

Eric gave it a nice name so that he could ‘humanise her’ and not feel too bad about the latest toy in the box.

I think this purchase may have been sold on the idea that Ingrid loses a Citroën but gains the CCM Range Rover for pootling about here and there.

So, one small car out. One big truck in.

(And yet again Eric celebrates another Christmas day as a new toy lands)

Rosie’s first customer is a lovely red MGB, safe, secure and ready to be professionally transported.

CCM holder and supplier of rags to the workshop is my second job. And boy is it needed. Last month saw wages flow into the CCM machine to pay for the fixing of Jnr’s pranged Fiesta. A few months earlier it was my much-loved L322 Range Rover that was providing further investment. Last month it was the Aprilia that was diverting cash out of my pocket. This month it’s the turn of the much-loved 2003 Gen 2 996 Porsche 911. A car which both Eric and I have owned previously (although on this occasion, not at the same time).

Thing with Porsches is this….. they are (relatively) cheap to buy, particular this model year as it was never the most loved 911. But, and it’s a big but, they are not, I repeat NOT, cheap to maintain (and maintained they need to be).

I’m not legally allowed to give advice in any sphere of life, other than this one. Should you ever be in the market for an older 911, get the very best maintained example you can find.

These cars if not looked after can become an economic write-off just with routine ‘getting service items fixed’.

The last time my went in for a service, the Porsche main dealer (for a laugh, I’m sure) listed all the things they’d recommend sorting out. I spent £600 servicing it. They thought I should be spending over £10k replacing bits that weren’t perfect.

So I adopt the following strategy. As it has a full Porsche service history, I get a minor service done every year and a Porsche stamp in the book. For everything else (and I mean EVERYTHING else), it goes to CCM.

Our tech team have way more engineering experience than the average Porsche technician and so when I decided to finally bite the bullet and get a couple of the bigger jobs done it was going one place and one place only. CCM towers.

IMS bearing, rear main seal, clutch, flywheel and a handful of smaller jobs. I won’t bore you with the details but every 996/997/boxter owner will be familiar with the first 3.

On the plus side, if any of our lovely customers have any of the above models, we have the skills, experience and the specialist tools to help with all.

(I'm lead to believe by Eric that this item is a tensioner for the tensioning of things that need to be taut)

(I'm lead to believe that this picture shows a tool which when used, locks things in place which need to be still when other things are being changed)

(I am lead to believe that the thing that needs to be replaced whilst other things are locked, lives in the little hole at the bottom of this picture. I believe his name is IMS)

This week I’ve mostly been emptying out old pockets, searching under every couch cushion my rear even so much as looks at, cashing in old luncheon vouchers, selling the children’s drawings on eBay, you name it, the Porsche servicing fund is lighter than it should be and I’ve seen the pics of Dr Ray at work, many many pics…pics of things I don’t even recognise as car bits….and so another beautifully crafted invoice from Siobhan is being compiled as we speak.

So if there is anyone out there who could offer me a third job, I just might need it. (I have no qualifications, the attention span of toddler, a huge range of stupid and pointless questions which I can (and will) ask on any subject but, and it’s a big but, I’m cheap (as well as annoying)). A CV expanding on this can be made available upon request.

I can’t wait to get the Porker back mind. It may be an older, less loved and cheaper model, but it’s a sensational car to drive and when all tweaked, adjusted and lovingly fettled by our very own Dr Ray, it will be pretty much as good as new. Not too bad for an 18 year-old modern classic!

So from the CMM team, Eric, Siobhan, Dr Ray, Shrimp-eye Justin, Young Chris, Izzi, Ingrid and a soon to be very skint (but happy) Olli, have a great week in this wonderful world of lovingly ‘cared for’ classics.

Olli