The good, the bad and the oil change

‘In the corner of the workshop, Olli Ragbin sits watching events unfold before him’

Some of you may remember ‘curry-gate’, the evening where Eric and I hatched a fiendishly cunning plan to buy a 90’s sports motorcycle. We met under the cover of darkness, ordered various delightfully spicy dishes and then went about the task in hand.

The Autotrader app was opened and a likely candidate quickly found.

Before Ingrid could say ‘don’t you two even think about it…’ we had visited, looked, prodded and finally put our pound down on a gorgeous 1998 Suzuki GSXR 750 SRAD (to give it the full title!).

The pincer movement. Machiavellian footwork with clinical execution.

Since this little stunt however, Eric and I are now only allowed to meet with a chaperone, required to sign a financial disclaimer and live under the menacing threat knowing that Ingrid’s last eBay purchase was a cattle prod.

She left her home page open on the desktop when Eric came to finalise invoices one day. Eric looked at the screen….then slowly looked up at Ingrid…..’How is that bike these days?’ she asked. She didn’t wait for an answer.

Anyway, that was a long while ago and the atmosphere is good to breathe again. Good job as it’s time for the Suzuki to get her service.

Being part of the CCM family has advantages. A fully equipped workshop which had a gap last Saturday being one of them!

Eric was in doing some small jobs actually on the office (something to do with insulating the roof) and Ingrid was in doing some admin below, in the office.

Now I’ve seen Dr Ray, Justin and Young Chris busy at work and thought to myself ‘surely some of their talent has rubbed off on me…..surely I can twirl a spanner with deftness and nail an oil change…. ?’.

Perhaps, seeing me operate around the Suzuki may actually sow a seed in Eric’s mind that I could potentially be workshop material for the future….surely?

I shall give you a bulleted summary of my 2 hours of faffing a little later, but first on to more important news.

A customer with a beautiful base 2.7 Porsche Boxter got in touch with the gaffer to ask for some advice. His local independent specialist had quoted him around £8k for various works to bring the car back to immaculate condition. Now I happen to know this particular customer well and I can tell you this for nothing, money doth not leaveth that particular wallet without exceptionally good reason (and usually with a fight at that).

As there was activity at CCM towers this particular weekend, an agreement for a Saturday am inspection was reached.

The car arrived in all its loveliness and, after negotiating a shockingly placed Suzuki, found itself up on ramp number one.

(Note: Suzuki abandoned as a certain ‘someone’ got bored with one particular job-at-hand and decided to have a go at some wheels with the steam cleaner instead of finishing a motorcycle oil change)

Justin and Eric set about the task with torches and prodding things and gave the car a thorough inspection, cross-checked against the 2 sides of A4 from the independent.

There then followed a 20-minute de-brief with our prospective customer.

In short, Eric advised which items needed doing immediately, which items were simply not required in the short-term and actually found a couple of things that definitely needed doing that the independent had missed.

The CCM estimate was several orders lower. Not because we had tried to win the business, but because we had talked to the customer about his specific goals, and we were clear in our advice on the things we believed needed doing.

When I had spoken to him earlier in the week, the sale of the Boxter was imminent. He could afford the big bill, but the car just wasn’t worth the investment at that scale. The outcome of a sale would mean he sold a car he genuinely loved.

A sensible schedule of work was agreed with Eric, the customer is now keeping his car, probably for the long-term.

‘Eric and Justin really liked my car’ he said to me later.

Of course they did. It’s why CCM is here. The love of cars. We’re all suckered in by that game.. classics, cars, motorbikes…. Love em all…!

As it was Saturday, Justin Eric and I sat down for a spot of lunch. Last week’s Landie was up on ramp 2 and Justin told the full story about the wiring. We had a picture of it in the last blog. The wiring looked horrific. Even this did not quite give the full picture! Wires directly from the ECU, through the roof lining and then just appearing, with nothing to connect to was just one of the examples of some previous work carried out here.

All of this was electrical drama was relayed (shocking pun) by Justin, who appeared completely unphased (…and again).

I honestly don’t know how he does this electrical spaghetti-wrangling stuff. It makes me feel queasy just thinking about it.

OK. So, here are the highlights at my attempt at an oil change.

(Note: hammer on floor.... not standard oil change toolery.... )

Highlights:

· Removed half the lower fairings, completely unnecessarily

· Drew blood whilst undoing the sump plug (caught wrist on unnecessarily removed lower fairing)

· Took 10 mins trying to remove old sump plug washer

· Spilt oil taking off filter (sorry Chris… it was near your ramp…. Please tread carefully)

· Spilt oil filling engine (sorry Chris… won’t happen again)

· Constantly interrupted Eric to ask for;

o Screwdrivers

o Pliers (for the sump plug washer drama)

o Random nick-knackery

· Dropped the following

o Screwdrivers

o Pliers

o Oil filter (onto the floor)

o Oil funnel (into the old oil)

· Lost the following;

o Seat bush (helps secure the seat to the frame)

o My temper (quietly so no one would notice)

Justin came over as I was finishing off and spent 5 minutes pointing out all my oil-smudged finger marks over the bike.

‘Eric would have a field day if he saw this’ he said calmly.

He then spent a further 5 minutes alternating between examining my work and tutting loudly.

I suspect he may have also been shaking his head at the same time but I couldn’t see as I was too busy looking at my shoes.

In the end thought I managed to complete the job and went home quite pleased with myself.

An hour or so later and a photo pinged through on WhatsApp from Eric

Oh… wonder which bit that held on?

I then found this in my pocket.

My normal workshop position handing out the clean rags has been resumed.

I know I shall never be allowed anywhere near a customer’s car (or maybe even a customer for that matter).

I know my place.

And so next week the professionals get back to work doing what they do best.

Easter’s a comin’ and I can almost smell the chocolate!

Until next time, from Eric, Dr Ray, Justin, Young Chris and Siobhan…stay safe people and see you in the workshop….(where I won’t be touching anything, promise!).

Ollie